tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-361879942024-03-12T18:09:21.114-07:00Dumb stuff I read on resumesYour resume should sell your skills and experience to the World, but there's plenty of people who are a few feet short of the runway. Here's some of them.ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-70741821419490505282010-07-09T05:20:00.000-07:002010-07-09T05:21:25.600-07:00No more dog<div><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">"Interests: I love animals and used to own a dog</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); "><b><i>"</i></b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Awwww!</div>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-17004203945967811362010-07-08T01:25:00.000-07:002010-07-08T01:26:46.717-07:00I hope this was deliberate<div><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">"Working at **** airline, I gained experience managing cabin crew in a pressurized environment</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); "><b><i>"</i></b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Not a dumb statement I know, but it made me laugh so it counts ok?</div>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-25535144697309734982010-06-29T01:57:00.001-07:002010-06-29T01:58:38.909-07:00Health and safety issues?Candidate working at a pharmaceutical company<br /><div><br /></div><div><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">"I literally 'climbed the ladder' in this organisation</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); "><b><i>"</i></b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Even if it's a small-ish step-ladder, surely there's an accident waiting to happen right there?</div>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-74490039687847757612010-04-20T07:08:00.000-07:002010-04-20T07:12:04.848-07:00Drive down quality<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 16px; "><div><span style="font-style: italic; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">"</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-size: medium; "><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-size: 16px; "><span lang="EN" style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:Dotum;mso-font-kerning:1.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN; mso-fareast-language:ZH-CN;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">A </span></span><span lang="EN" style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Arial;mso-fareast-font-family:SimSun; mso-font-kerning:1.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN;mso-fareast-language:ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">marketing professional</span></span><span lang="EN" style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Arial;mso-fareast-font-family:Dotum; mso-font-kerning:1.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN;mso-fareast-language:ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">with a</span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">“never settle for the best”</span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"> attitude"</span></span></span></i></b></span></span></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-size: medium; "><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-size: 16px; "><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><br /></span></span></span></i></b></span></span></div><div>Why would you settle for best when mediocre is available? Hell, push it further and see if you can achieve poor or even piss-poor.</div></span></i></b></span></span></div>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-35195692378422926302009-12-04T07:06:00.000-08:002009-12-04T07:10:05.827-08:00Don't go there!Not really a resume blooper this one, I just never knew there was a company called <a href="http://www.drfosterintelligence.co.uk/">Dr Foster Intelligence</a> <div>It looks like they provide information on healthcare, but I can imagine that they specialise in warnings about flooding in Gloucester. Look out for those puddles folks!</div>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-52367953293006072132009-10-09T07:09:00.000-07:002009-10-12T01:15:40.394-07:00So successfulYippee! Only 4 months since my last post. Am I getting better or worse?<div>Worse I think.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ahem. I shall continue. One of today's candidates had this gem in her summary section.</div><div><br /></div><div><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">"Achievements</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><b><i>•</i></b></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><b><i> </i></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><b><i>Accomplished the relocation from London to Melbourne, Australia to begin a new life in a foreign country with high success"</i></b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Errr. As you're back in London, that doesn't make it a particularly successful relocation does it?</div><div><br /></div>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-72960460717521920722009-05-19T06:47:00.000-07:002009-06-11T03:45:57.349-07:00PuzzlingThere are many skills which are useful in the workplace. Some we learn after years of practice, some we learn when we start our careers and some we learn in education.<br />I'm not sure however, if the ones we learn in pre-school are particularly relevant.<br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 24pt; text-indent: -24pt;"><span style=";font-family:Calibri;font-size:12;" lang="EN-GB" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"Analytical & Problem Solving skills</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">* As a child, I always enjoyed building jigsaw puzzles and was always determined to find the missing piece."</span><br /><br />He does not go on to mention that he has successfully given up his blanket, and no longer pisses his pants. Perhaps we shall never know.ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-51034687471739204572009-02-17T01:19:00.000-08:002009-02-17T01:26:07.259-08:00i am NOT a homosexualToday, a somewhat bizarrely detailed resume which included his BMI (22.9) and lines such as "<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Driving experience with all sorts of cars. Minivan, Roadster, Saloon, Estate</span>".<br /><br />Not content with making me wonder how driving a saloon is so much different to an estate, this candidate tops it off with a moment of excellence.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"ps. As I’m Single, I had been questioned by personnel managers in previous interviews about my sexual habits. Weird, but evidently there is a need of explanation. Therefore, I want to let you know, that I am heterosexual. I’m only interested in women ! I’m absolute "normal" at all. I’ve got no problems with these questions, and I don’t complain about it. We do live in the 21st century, after all. Anyway"</span><br /><br />Anyway.ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-11651173437258806032009-01-01T12:04:00.000-08:002009-01-01T12:15:07.929-08:00Happy 2009 !Hope you all had a good Christmas and are pleasantly bloated, vaguely promising yourself that you will make the trips to the gym this year.<br /><br />Remember, when you're out of work, there are a few options to consider ;<br /><br />1, Update your resume (ideally with some dumb mistake for me to mock)<br />2, Go networking<br />3, Visit the online job boards<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">4, Pay $1200 for a billboard, advertising yourself as a 'Stylopolitan'</span><br /><br />uh, wait, wtf ?<br /><br />oh yes, really, it's all there in Dallas - <a href="http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/city/dallas/stories/123008dnmetbillboardjob.208c8247.html">http://www.dallasnews.com</a>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-18251300984652680152008-11-19T09:29:00.000-08:002008-11-19T09:31:48.510-08:00Long time no seeOops. Haven't done this in a while.<br /><br />Anyway...<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"Please note from my CV I have 6 years buying and negotiating and Sock-Control experience"</span><br /><br />Well, why not ? They get separated, worn out, smelly - someone needs to do it.ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-75268322785291849972008-07-03T05:57:00.000-07:002008-07-03T06:01:32.801-07:00I have low expectations<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Previously at Starbucks Coffee Co. the position I occupied allowed me to serve customers and exceed their expectations, by providing them with the right product"</span><br /><br />What ? Surely that's meeting expectations isn't it ?<br />Or did the conversation go like this ?<br /><br />"I'd like a large Americano please."<br />"Certainly Madam, here is your large Americano"<br />"Wow. Thank you for my large Americano. That's more than I could have hoped for !"ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-16486005132094046412008-06-27T05:26:00.000-07:002008-06-27T05:31:12.995-07:00a holistic, win-win approach to benchmarking metrics, with an out-of-the-box, synergistic vision of the mind-set<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"A wealth of experience combined with the desire to do more make me both enthusiastic and frustrated. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I would enjoy combining my background in company management/turnarounds/restructuring or product marketing with its associated demands of financial management, production capability, market research and segmentation, pricing, etc in a meaningful role.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Creating good teamwork, sensible computerised systems and housekeeping disciplines, to ensure the wheels don't fall off, are all part of the "givens" that go with any ambitions and are an integral part of my make up."</span><br /><br />When will people realize that I'm the only person in the World that reads this crap and takes any notice ?ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-1772663545585871282008-05-14T08:26:00.000-07:002008-05-14T08:28:18.848-07:00Don't go swimming in .....uh . too late.<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"My hobbies include regular attendance at my local gym and swimming poo"</span><br /><br />no. words. needed.ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-78709178378477181092008-04-16T02:09:00.001-07:002008-04-16T02:11:41.489-07:00Online Translation HellI almost feel mean for posting these (note I say 'almost') but sometimes online translation tools belch up some gems.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Dear Lady/Sir! </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I would like to present myself the announced webdesigner onto a position! </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">It is included in my long-term plans that he is graphic designer inside a trade </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">let me find a job. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">According to my opinion, my school studies, my experiences and it until now </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">2 of my year professional practices suitable one do the webdesigner scope of activities </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">onto his filling. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Trust in it, that my letter arouses your interest. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I send it enclosed herewith concerning my curriculum vitae and the reference my works! </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I wait for their answer!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I would make the work in telework, freelance if may be!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> Kind regards,"<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I know, I'm a bad man for mocking.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"></span>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-85794929453620684642008-04-10T02:35:00.000-07:002008-04-10T02:39:27.170-07:00First Day HellI'd just like to point you to an interesting article on <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/career_and_jobs/article3714249.ece">The Times website</a> - What not to do when starting a new job.<br />My favorite is<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"A couple of weeks ago a new recruit turned up to his orientation with his mum,” says Donna Miller, the European HR director of Enterprise Rent-A-Car. “We had to explain that he was the one we had hired, not his mother."</span><br /><br /><br /></span>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-12756642351193888822008-04-02T01:13:00.000-07:002008-04-02T01:15:17.759-07:00How to handle rejectionNot one I received, but I came across this gem and thought I'd share.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Herbert A. Millington</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Chair - Search Committee</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">College Hill, MA 34109</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Dear Professor Millington,</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">an assistant professor position in your department.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Sincerely,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Chris L. Jensen"</span>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-44484075086388428522008-03-17T17:09:00.000-07:002008-03-18T08:19:17.312-07:00Nothing new but...I hope you like the new layout to this blog.<br /><br />I'm no design guru I know, but the full width layout seems to help and I've changed some colors here and there.ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-2778041424261578302008-02-29T06:54:00.000-08:002008-03-17T17:04:56.279-07:00Happy, Happy, Happy Meals<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Hobbies/Interests: drawing, singing, art, music, surfing the net, collecting Happy Meal toys"</span><br /><br /><br /></span>Each to their own I guess. I can imagine him sitting in his room surrounded by sealed bags ("DON'T touch the bags Mother !") laughing maniacally. All are indexed and he's awaiting the day that the art market sees his collection as definitive of the 21st Century.<br /><br /><br />EDIT : Woah, I just checked. A search for - happy meal toy collecting brings over 1.2 million Google results. I'll get hate mail (in crayon) for this.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"></span>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-25198736393685987122008-02-11T03:55:00.000-08:002008-03-17T17:06:39.097-07:00Just like my mentor Jon bon JoviI haven't updated in a loooooong time I know, but I'm back with a pip and a doozy. This is something truly extraordinary to restart this faltering blog.<br /><br />It could be tongue in cheek, but I really hope not. So get a coffee, sit back and enjoy the most wonderous profile page.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Some things I like:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">thin ties. cooking. reading in bed by torchlight. wondering. taking things apart. dogs. making people laugh. sometimes putting things back together. my treasured roman pipe. my bicycle. the freedom it gives me. black. and white. responsible architects. anything by marcel breuer, getting my hands dirty. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I’m a guy with an enviable history. Some would say a rogue, I would say at least a lovable rogue. Just like my mentor Jon bon Jovi, I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I’ve spent a considerable time both high above and deep below ground. I like the perspective from both places. It’s a shame so many people never look beyond the front of their noses. I like to see the angles others miss. I’ve listened to a million stories, and told a few of my own. I’d like to hear your story, because there’s nothing like a good story. Except perhaps Dutch liquorice.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I have mastered every genre, from pointy shoe swing kid and glam rockstar, through beat poet and lonesome traveler to cycle messenger outcast and rockabilly cowboy. I can, and do, shoot from the hip, but only when startled. When I shave, I shave with a straight razor, which I sometimes keep in my left boot. Just in case. I no longer cut my face. I can fix your car, or a flat bicycle tyre. I built my first house entirely from Lego. It’s currently on the market, if you’re interested. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I am afraid of the dark.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">There’s almost no task that I can’t complete given an opportunity. I taught myself to drive, and cook. I knock out a cracking rendition of Kenny Rogers’ “the Gambler”. I am the best at everything I do. I think laterally. My greatest pleasure is to explore the unseen world that exists in the dreams of the everyday</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">To quote the great xxxx xxxxx </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">(his name)</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> : “It’s time to knuckle down, get a haircut and a proper job” These days, as there’s scant requirement for a pirate with a heart of gold, I’m shopping out my more creative talents. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I appreciate your time and mine. I look forward to meeting and impressing you."</span><br /><br />There, didn't I tell you it was good ?ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-13872671022299243832007-10-29T04:31:00.001-07:002008-03-17T17:06:44.994-07:00A tough balancing act<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"I have developed a healthy work-life balance"</span><br /><br /><br />That would be admirable, if it weren't for the fact that this guy's resume contained <span style="font-weight: bold;">one, solitary, part-time job</span>. Now, to my mind that isn't exactly a balance. The scales appear to be tipping in one direction slightly.<br />Although perhaps his social life isn't up to much either ?<br /><br /><br /><br /><script>reddit_url='[URL]'</script><br /><script>reddit_title='[TITLE]'</script><br /><script language="javascript" src="http://reddit.com/button.js?t=2"></script>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-91541930989193873672007-10-04T03:51:00.000-07:002008-03-17T17:06:57.286-07:00hav u seen mi gr8 resume ?Wow, it's been another whole month since my last post. Sorry readers.<br /><br />Today's wonderfully written gem is below. Enjoy.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"6/2007 - Present - Supermarket Sales Assistant</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">i as a online shopper .our dept,its called grossory online.i m a shopper,n do all the work in absence of supervisour n manager.managing the dept well.i.e doing paper work,making sure tht we have enough shoppers n drivers 2 make sure the deliverys is on time,allocating vans to drivers n work to shoppers accordingly."</span><br /><br /></span>I love these people dearly you know.ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-23591914435621450972007-08-31T04:16:00.000-07:002008-12-11T04:59:20.676-08:00HG Wells - you are not in my circle of trust<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with"</span><br /><br />So there you go. If you were planning on messing with time itself, you have been warned - it's valuable. Thanks.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX5OsdI0WsUPFqakyxSxunELSS5heBjaSqkZaZMYz78WgXsMY5NM_sScomdIDQNMQR2xC3ch1OJ6FYyMJQcX9Bx_CbFZC6mbQGa5ko9UyOprvRYceTu1Qnuv3499p0cMZLJpY3/s1600-h/timemachine.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX5OsdI0WsUPFqakyxSxunELSS5heBjaSqkZaZMYz78WgXsMY5NM_sScomdIDQNMQR2xC3ch1OJ6FYyMJQcX9Bx_CbFZC6mbQGa5ko9UyOprvRYceTu1Qnuv3499p0cMZLJpY3/s320/timemachine.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104823037265048258" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />Has it really been over a month since my last post ? </span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Sorry folks. Been busy actually recruiting (though my inherent laziness hasn't helped either)</span><br /><br /><br /><script>reddit_url='[URL]'</script><br /><script>reddit_title='[TITLE]'</script><br /><script language="javascript" src="http://reddit.com/button.js?t=2"></script>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-33407614398163547822007-07-25T05:49:00.000-07:002008-03-17T17:07:11.122-07:00To be or not to be, that is web 2.0Just saw a resume for a web developer, who had worked on a project for<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Service for old man to check they are still alive or not."</span><br /><br />As it turns out, it's more about informing relatives of your wellbeing. Even that conjures interesting ideas though -<br />Imagine the email they receive - "errr hi. your dad's dead - the opinions in this email do not necessarily represent those of...." and perhaps they would have google adsense down the side with "Find your dead dad on eBay"<br /><br /><br /><script>reddit_url='[URL]'</script><br /><script>reddit_title='[TITLE]'</script><br /><script language="javascript" src="http://reddit.com/button.js?t=2"></script>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-29462907272071986332007-07-13T13:39:00.000-07:002008-03-17T17:07:24.360-07:00Real HellI'm really not sure where to start with this one. It's been kindly submitted by George Bazhenov (go visit his <a href="http://video.naveki.org/">site</a> or his <a href="http://www.naveki.org/blog.htm">blog</a> here (though you'll need to be able to read Russian).<br />I'll let George tell this in his own words. Expect a cocktail stick with a cheese chunk of humor and a pineapple chunk of pathos.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"</span></span><span><span style="font-style: italic;">That was very near to hell in 1998 - quarter million Sierra Leonean refugees fleeing across the border and into Guinea. My job was to take part in an effort to feed all of them and my agency started recruiting field monitors. Applications started to arrive in their hundreds, way too more for us to process. There were real gems, West Africans love theatrics but in a situation of hunger and despair this sounded tragic and nobody laughed at their job applications that in normal conditions would be circulated through offices and learned by heart to retell near a soda fountain.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I still keep one and I still think that it carries more tragedy than comedy with it.</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Letter of Request</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I am twenty-one (21) year old Sierra Leonean Refugee student and I am writing to have you as my abducted father should it be possible. The widely propagated news of your authenticity by individuals around town aroused my curiosity for a fraternal relationship with you.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I hope to have some facial conversation with you at your convenience, so that I can furnish you with detailed information about myself.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Sir, I strongly promise to make use of any opportunity you may offer me to your greatest satisfaction.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Thanks in advance.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Sincerely yours,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">xxxxxxx xxxxxxx"</span><br /><br /></span></span><span>Sorry if you were expecting a LOL today, but this one had to be posted.<br />Normal, irreverent service will be resumed soon.<br /><br /><script>reddit_url='[URL]'</script><br /><script>reddit_title='[TITLE]'</script><br /><script language="javascript" src="http://reddit.com/button.js?t=2"></script><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36187994.post-24888780554531758412007-07-09T09:06:00.000-07:002008-12-11T04:59:20.923-08:00Show me the money !Samantha mailed me this one, though she didn't want to appear too mean-spirited. You really shouldn't worry.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Wendys - Cashier</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Successfully handled money. Received money from customers.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">And successfully issued the correct amount of change back to the customers"</span></span><br /><br />Everybody deliberates over the most appropriate elements of a role to include on their resume. I appreciate that a Wendys cashier is not the most wide-ranging or challenging position but of all the tasks involved, NOT defrauding customers should really be a given shouldn't it ?<br /><br /><script>reddit_url='[URL]'</script><br /><script>reddit_title='[TITLE]'</script><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh67n1hH5UhPio5RS8TVy1dQ-_y-E5lCCb4DzujLTAEnKrhZqKOQoP7dkYWAGCp_WEcKSqpq050y5cdP6LULM6yoUMqhf9qdIbzQ9D0wOSB1_ATj4SMdGelD07w-YhyQwvAW6P-/s1600-h/wendyschange.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh67n1hH5UhPio5RS8TVy1dQ-_y-E5lCCb4DzujLTAEnKrhZqKOQoP7dkYWAGCp_WEcKSqpq050y5cdP6LULM6yoUMqhf9qdIbzQ9D0wOSB1_ATj4SMdGelD07w-YhyQwvAW6P-/s320/wendyschange.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5085239284137534738" border="0" /></a><br /><script language="javascript" src="http://reddit.com/button.js?t=2"></script>ResumeHellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17306975305363229437noreply@blogger.com2