Online Translation Hell

I almost feel mean for posting these (note I say 'almost') but sometimes online translation tools belch up some gems.

"Dear Lady/Sir!

I would like to present myself the announced webdesigner onto a position!

It is included in my long-term plans that he is graphic designer inside a trade
let me find a job.

According to my opinion, my school studies, my experiences and it until now
2 of my year professional practices suitable one do the webdesigner scope of activities
onto his filling.

Trust in it, that my letter arouses your interest.

I send it enclosed herewith concerning my curriculum vitae and the reference my works!

I wait for their answer!

I would make the work in telework, freelance if may be!!!

Kind regards,"


I know, I'm a bad man for mocking.