Monday, February 11, 2008

Just like my mentor Jon bon Jovi

I haven't updated in a loooooong time I know, but I'm back with a pip and a doozy. This is something truly extraordinary to restart this faltering blog.

It could be tongue in cheek, but I really hope not. So get a coffee, sit back and enjoy the most wonderous profile page.

"Some things I like:

thin ties. cooking. reading in bed by torchlight. wondering. taking things apart. dogs. making people laugh. sometimes putting things back together. my treasured roman pipe. my bicycle. the freedom it gives me. black. and white. responsible architects. anything by marcel breuer, getting my hands dirty.

I’m a guy with an enviable history. Some would say a rogue, I would say at least a lovable rogue. Just like my mentor Jon bon Jovi, I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all.

I’ve spent a considerable time both high above and deep below ground. I like the perspective from both places. It’s a shame so many people never look beyond the front of their noses. I like to see the angles others miss. I’ve listened to a million stories, and told a few of my own. I’d like to hear your story, because there’s nothing like a good story. Except perhaps Dutch liquorice.

I have mastered every genre, from pointy shoe swing kid and glam rockstar, through beat poet and lonesome traveler to cycle messenger outcast and rockabilly cowboy. I can, and do, shoot from the hip, but only when startled. When I shave, I shave with a straight razor, which I sometimes keep in my left boot. Just in case. I no longer cut my face. I can fix your car, or a flat bicycle tyre. I built my first house entirely from Lego. It’s currently on the market, if you’re interested.

I am afraid of the dark.

There’s almost no task that I can’t complete given an opportunity. I taught myself to drive, and cook. I knock out a cracking rendition of Kenny Rogers’ “the Gambler”. I am the best at everything I do. I think laterally. My greatest pleasure is to explore the unseen world that exists in the dreams of the everyday

To quote the great xxxx xxxxx (his name) : “It’s time to knuckle down, get a haircut and a proper job” These days, as there’s scant requirement for a pirate with a heart of gold, I’m shopping out my more creative talents.

I appreciate your time and mine. I look forward to meeting and impressing you."

There, didn't I tell you it was good ?

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Jennifer George said...

Sweet fancy Moses. What a nutbag.

Farmer Joe said...

Wait a minute...are you trying to tell us that that is an actual resume? If so, it would be extremely enlightening to know what position the individual was applying for. I can only assume it was a position advertising the need for someone who could provide evidence indicating a lifelong pursuit of crack smoking?

mary kate said...

i think i know him...... jis name isn't greg, is it?!

Anonymous said...

This is excellent stream-of-consciousness writing, and would show great potential for a highly creative position. Otherwise, it's just an unusually creative application letter.

Anonymous said...

It may not have been the best way to present himself for a job, except maybe in the creative fields, but I thought it was a great piece of free-writing. Thanks for sharing. :-)