Online Translation Hell

I almost feel mean for posting these (note I say 'almost') but sometimes online translation tools belch up some gems.

"Dear Lady/Sir!

I would like to present myself the announced webdesigner onto a position!

It is included in my long-term plans that he is graphic designer inside a trade
let me find a job.

According to my opinion, my school studies, my experiences and it until now
2 of my year professional practices suitable one do the webdesigner scope of activities
onto his filling.

Trust in it, that my letter arouses your interest.

I send it enclosed herewith concerning my curriculum vitae and the reference my works!

I wait for their answer!

I would make the work in telework, freelance if may be!!!

Kind regards,"


I know, I'm a bad man for mocking.

First Day Hell

I'd just like to point you to an interesting article on The Times website - What not to do when starting a new job.
My favorite is

"A couple of weeks ago a new recruit turned up to his orientation with his mum,” says Donna Miller, the European HR director of Enterprise Rent-A-Car. “We had to explain that he was the one we had hired, not his mother."

How to handle rejection

Not one I received, but I came across this gem and thought I'd share.

"Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen"